When Your Spouse Dies

When Your Spouse Dies
A Widow & Widower's Handbook

There are no answers to these questions, no legitimate arguments to the statements.
Life is unfair!

Most often there is no discernable rhyme or reason for what happens, at least none that would ease the pain of losing a spouse!

This book is not intended to answer these impossible questions or profess that your hurt will go away any faster for having read it. It is the purpose of this book to help you cope with your loss and help you to eventually get on with your life. Your mate's life has ended, but the fact remains that yours has not. In addition to your loss, there will be new demands on you. No matter how independent you may have been, you'll find you relied more heavily on your mate than you ever suspected.

On the other hand, if you relied heavily on your spouse for your everyday needs, you'll also be surprised just how self reliant you will become now that the need is here. If you're fortunate enough to have family and friends for support, accept their kind and sincere offerings of service. They really want to be of help to you and you're helping them to cope with their feelings and loss by allowing them help you - their friend who's in need.

Remember, marriage was a two way street, and your spouse relied on you for many things too, many of which you both probably took for granted.

One of the first matters you must settle in your own mind is that your spouse's death was not your fault! It is natural that such self-blame might creep into your thinking. It will probably dash in from time to time. Our religions tend to teach us that God is benevolent, forgiving, loving, but stern in dealing with sinners. Punishment must have a reason, and what worse punishment could be dealt than what you are now suffering, other than perhaps the loss of a child?
The logical next question is, "What have I done to deserve this?" This leads to a review of all the 'evil' you've done since your birth ultimately creating self-blame for the death of your fondest friend and mate. Well, that just isn't so!
Your mate died because we all must die.

Some of us will die young; hopefully most of us will enjoy a full and long life. But whenever our loved ones go, it is too early. The point is that life and death are mostly chance and you must realize that nothing you did hastened the loss of your mate. Any reasonable clergy would agree with this.

It is not the purpose of this chapter to place blame. There is no blame! Death is the normal, natural, unavoidable end to human life, as it is for all living things. Except for cases of homicide and suicide, none of us have any control over the time of that end for ourselves or another person. As harsh and yet as obvious as these words are, the bereaved spouse they must accept this. Were the bereaved a person other than yourself, you would have no doubt that your acquaintance was guilt free. You would argue the same points we do now and do so in all sincerity. But in our own grief we are not so objective. We keep asking, "Where have I gone wrong? What should I have done differently?"


The fact is, you each probably did all you could to make your life together as wonderful as it could be. For that you can only take credit, not blame. Granted, it is easy to accept these arguments intellectually, but emotional acceptance is another matter. We can help you with that...

Order When Your Spouse Dies by mail!

Print this page, fill out the following and send it to
Thornton Publishing, Inc.
17011 Lincoln Ave. #408
Parker, Colorado 80134

Send: a check for $14.95 + $2.50 shipping
($17.45 / each copy of When Your Spouse Dies)

Name: ________________________________________

Address: ______________________________________

City: _________________________________________

State: _____________ Zip: ____________________

Phone: ______________Email: __________________

# Books / Amount Sent: ___________/_____________

Download the FREE catalog.